When it first burst onto the scene a few years ago, Katamari Damacy was hailed as a triumph. An original game that not only succeeded as a creative masterpiece, but was just damn fun to play as well. Of course, we all know what happens when you make a good game, right? That's right, you keep milking that cash cow until there's nothing left but a huge pile of quarters. Sadly, this game proves to be little more than stinky cheese curd.

The World Is A Very Sticky Place

   For those unfamiliar with the Katamari series, it can best be described as a cross between an acid trip and a mind fuck. Basically, the story goes something like this. The bumbling yet all-powerful King of All Cosmos gets overly excited during a tennis match, and fires off a Serena Williams power serve (minus the bestial grunting) that rips a hole in the cosmos and creates a black hole. While the King quickly contains the chaos, most of the universe has been sucked into the void, and must be recreated. This task falls to you, his pipsqueak son, the Prince. Now, you may think that I spent the entire previous paragraph making up a funny story to embellish the game's world. I didn't. That's the plot line, no lie. Go ahead and get your recreational drug of choice before you pop this one in, that's probably the only way it will make sense.

   So then, how do you repopulate a now empty universe? Well you roll things up with a sticky ball of course! Yes, just as in previous games, you must run around various levels picking up increasingly larger objects in order to make your ball (the katamari) reach a certain size within a preset time limit. The basic concept of the game is that as you collect junk and make your katamari bigger, you can roll up increasingly larger objects, going from thumbtacks and sugar cubes to skyscrapers and continents. It's a remarkably simple concept, but it always manages to create a fun experience. My favorite part is when you get to the size that you can roll up humans, and their screams of anguish remind you that no matter how cute the game is, you're still committing genocide on a massive scale. It's just a good thing your dad is the King, otherwise you would be on trial for war crimes that would make Hitler's atrocities look like a trip to summer camp.

You Know, Complexity Isn't Necessarily A BAD Thing

It's Awful Shiny, So That Counts for Something Right?

   Seeing as how this is the series' first trip into the world of next-gen consoles and HD graphics, there was obvious apprehension as to how the game would look. The series has always prided itself on simple, blocky graphics, standing in stark contrast to the slick and polished titles that propagate the marketplace. Let the pretty ones get the boys, this is a game with personality, which is what makes it marriage material. Off with you, you stupid two-bit tramps, putting on your whore makeup for instant gratification; the Prince is waiting for his wedding day!

   Sorry, got a little sidetracked there, what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, the graphics. The game has kept the same blocky, simple models, and made them prettier. The game is vibrant and colorful, and you can see the world teeming with life. In a way, the look of the game is just perfect. It's simple, it's beautiful, and it fits the environment to a tee. However, if you're expecting to see something new with all that power under the hood, you'll be sorely disappointed.

The Music Will Annoy You, It Will Irritate You, It Won't Leave Your Head... and That's Just Fine

   If the off-kilter graphics and wacky gameplay don't tell you that you're playing a truly unique game, the music definitely will. If you're a fan of jazz infused J-Pop then you are going to be in heaven. For the other 94.3% of the world populace, it's going to be an "experience", to say the least. Don't worry though, as it's a fun trip, and you'll be bopping right along with the soundtrack. Especially if you took your mushrooms before you started like I said you should. Of course, all those happy Japanese women could be singing about sacrificing babies and worshipping Satan, and if that's the case then they're just the sweetest sounding little Satanists you'll ever come across. While this soundtrack may not be as infectious as the previous two, you still may find a song or two worth downloading.

You Think You're Good With Your Stick? How About Two at the Same Time?

   Perhaps the signature of the Katamari series is its control scheme. The entire game is controlled using the dual analog sticks, and nothing else. Push both sticks forward, go forward; pull them back, and you're in reverse; pull the sticks in opposite directions and you rotate, etc. Basically, you control the game much like a tank commander, and successfully completing all stages qualifies you to serve as the brigadier general of your friendly neighborhood Panzer column. Once again, the keyword here is simplicity, and the last thing the developers wanted to do was tinker with the game's pick up and play mechanics.

Imitation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery, but Innovation Can Be Nice Too

   When playing Beautiful Katamari it quickly becomes obvious that the developers were more concerned with not messing things up than they were with introducing new gameplay experiences. While the game certainly doesn't do anything wrong, it's hard to get excited about the same-old, same-old. Personally, I had hoped that with a new console the game would take a new direction with more specialized levels, a more expansive campaign mode, and just plain MORE. Sadly, the game regresses by being shorter and less innovative than it's predecessors, and I'm left wondering if this series isn't just a one-trick pony repackaged with pretty graphics and a new soundtrack. As much as I hate to say it, if the Immaculate Katamari or whatever the next game is called doesn't bring something new to the table, this may be my last trip into the Cosmos.

       ... Brad