Fortunately, Mega Man didn't make it as a Minnesota Viking, so he went back to killing robots
The music isn't as awesome, but this dragon is still a blast to fight
I'm singin in the rain...
Mega Man is lacking moral fiber
Not only do you have to clear the jump, but you also have to watch out for enemies that come OUT of the pit!
That little grabby dude is a real pain in the ass
Holy crap I want one of those
Ice... on top of spikes... thanks guys, thanks
Yay for disappearing blocks! And by yay, I mean, oh crap
Important safety tip - one touch from the lava will kill you
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Prepare for an old-school ass-whoopin' of epic proportionsSadism (n): the tendency to derive pleasure... from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.
Also known as the reason the developers behind Mega Man 9 went to work each day.
Masochism (n): the tendency to derive pleasure... from one's own pain or humiliation.
Or, the reason you're going to absolutely love Mega Man 9.
I will begin by saying that you really really really need to be in a certain mindset to appreciate this game and prevent yourself from flinging not one, not two, but numerous controllers through your television. If you're easily frustrated by games, or if you're new to gaming and don't enjoy the "stupid jumps" (aka hardcore challenge) of old-school platformers, or if you are just morally opposed to seeing little blue dudes fall into the same damn spike pit seventeen times in a row, you're probably not going to like Mega Man 9. Not at all.
That said, if you have ever enjoyed a Mega Man title in the past or are just looking for an outrageously fun, challenge-filled addition to your downloadable collection, then you've come to the right place.
We're going back... to the future! Is it just me, or does Dr. Wily look like Doc Brown, but with an evil mustache instead of Christopher Lloyd's charming good looks?
There is a story in Mega Man 9, as in all of the previous incarnations of the long-running series, but it won't be winning any Oscars in the near future, so it's really just a backdrop for the robot-ass-kicking that follows the opening cut-scene. And, since the game was created in 8-bit style, when I say cut-scene I of course mean crudely drawn pixels with scrolling type beneath them outlining the plot.
Anyway, you're Mega Man, fresh off saving the world yet again, when Dr. Wily shows up on TV saying that he's really not to blame for the latest catastrophe that's overcome the planet - which of course involves robots running rampant, and other alliterative phrases. This time around, Wily claims that Dr. Light, Mega Man's "daddy," is the one to blame for the havoc. And while he is at it, he also points out that he is NOT, repeat, NOT George Bush. Of course, the blue bomber is out to prove that his creator is a good man and could never do bad things to poor innocent people, but first he must stop the destruction to find out why the latest batch of eight robots (haven't they learned that eight isn't enough for world domination yet? - they always get stopped!) have gone crazy.
Like I said, minor background fodder to get you in the mood to kill some baddies. And boy, are there baddies aplenty in MM9...
...but how the hell am I supposed to clear this jump?! I've tried it 20 times already and...... oh, that's how you do it.
Like teenhood, part of Mega Man's lasting appeal has been the intricate stages through which he must battle in order to reach the final challenge. Though in the game, instead of first dates and graduation, you're forced to deal with robot masters (which in real life does not come until you graduate college and get a job). The level design in the newest installment lives up to the series classic roots, with spike traps, bottomless pits, long leaps of faith, and several new tricks to keep older gamers on their toes, such as one part of a stage that has you fighting against the wind as you jump from one tiny platform to the next.
It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. About half an hour into the game, you'll definitely have crossed that line. There are plenty of hazards throughout the game, and it takes several tries the first time around to figure out exactly which way to go and which weapon to utilize in order to reach the goal and defeat the robot master. After beating each one of the boss robots, you gain his (or her, in the case of Splash Woman, but more on her later) weapon power, enabling you to more easily dispatch the next foe in line (or so you hope, if you picked the right order in which to beat them). You also have your trusty robot dog sidekick Rush back to lend a metallic paw to your adventures, posing as either a spring-like coil to help you reach new heights or, later in the game, as a jet sled, allowing you to bypass some of those crazy-long pits or spike traps. Or you could just trade him in for scrap metal to fund a fresh coat of paint for your bad self.
As much of a challenge as the game poses at the beginning, each time you pass an obstacle, you'll be rewarded with such an outstanding feeling of accomplishment that you can't help but smile and be proud of yourself. Don't let the feeling last too long, though, because there are seven other bosses where that one came from, in addition to Wily's castle at the end (oops, spoiler alert - Wily really is the bad guy after all... as if you didn't already know that).
Now where did I write down that password again? One of the most helpful features to the new game is the changeover from passwords to actual save files. Thanks to the handy storage devices (small as they may be *cough-Wii-cough*), you'll no longer have to map out a grid of properly placed dots or character heads just to continue your game.
On a completely unrelated note, the graphics in Mega Man 9 are incredible. Well, if your standards are Mega Man 1-5, anyway. 8-bit graphics have never looked so good. It's a true testament to Mega Man's loyal fanbase that the developers chose to implement this classic style, and the fact that they got it so right - you sometimes have to remind yourself that you're not really playing Mega Man 2 or 3 - is just remarkable when considering that they were basically dumbing down their technology to a look that hasn't been used in nearly fifteen years. And the music. Oh, man how I missed 8-bit Mega Man music. There really isn't much better than hearing those bloops and bleeps forming such rocking, techno-esque tunes. They totally get the blood pumping and provide such great backgrounds for each of the levels that you might be temporarily deluded into thinking that MM9 is better than sex.
You got... Hornet Chaser? Okay, so the Mega Man development team may have dug deep into the barrel to come up with the names of some of the robot bosses and their weapons for this one, but at least they get credit for providing the series' first female baddie - Splash Woman. And her weapon, the Laser Trident, totally rocks. (Not as much as the Metal Blades for you old-schoolers out there, but it's still pretty damn cool.) Each boss provides a good challenge, and the first time through you'll be hard pressed to figure out which order to attempt. This only makes it that much more rewarding when you play through again and defeat the bosses with ease, finally realizing what each opponent's weaknesses are.
The game also provides a challenge list (not just Achievements for the 360 version) that have you performing such crazy feats as clearing the game three times in one day (Gamer's Day) or beating a level while only jumping 50 times or less (Bunny Hop). Some are ridiculous, some are easy, but all provide an added layer of replayability to a title already swimming with long-term fun.
Just go buy it. You can read the conclusion while the game is downloading. Don't worry, I'll wait....... Got it started yet? Okay, good. As you can tell, I thoroughly love this game. There isn't much fault you will find in it, except maybe the heightened difficulty for some gamers. The story finds that perfect balance between campy and cool, the music is awesome as always, and it's hard to overcome the joy you get from realizing that you're essentially playing a brand new NES game in 2008. This is definitely a must-have.
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Darthziggy
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